Emotions Impact the Physical
This morning, I woke to the news that a pastor had passed away from a heart attack. The smiling pictures of his young wife and kids on social media shouted that he was a man taken before his time. Sadly, incidents like these are not isolated. The day before another pastor in the area had died of a heart attack, he also was too young. I pressed my hand into my own chest and felt my heart beat as I wondered. It had only been two months since I had my own heart medically tested. I was under a lot of stress and had been experiencing chest pains. After talking to my doctor, it was decided that due to the amount of stress I had been carrying, a test would be wise. I have been a pastor for seven years in a healthy, medium sized church that cares for me well. I turn forty years old this June.
Stress impacts people. While many, if not most pastors, find their work to be fulfilling and life-giving, it doesn’t diminish the stress that comes with working day-in and day-out with people. Sure there are ways to cope and different personality types field people in unique ways. There are best practices to handle stress, even though we as pastors are always “on call” and ministering to people. The graphic below charts performance versus stress and explains the results of a role that carry constant stress.
From the most difficult to the easy-going, people are the ministry. Ministry happens in the moment, during sacred study time, over the weekend, during your down time, while you are on vacation. Often the inconvenience is the ministry.
Pastors go into ministry to make Christ known. Yet, surprisingly the amount of people interaction can lead a pastor to social isolation as well as powerful internal conflicts. This can lead the pastor to see people as an inconvenience. Pastors want to help people; hopefully one of the reasons they went into ministry in the first place. Over time though they can grow to dread people and the problems that they carry. This leads to internal conflict and guilt in the pastor. How can an individual who wants to help people now desire to avoid people? How can a pastor desire to avoid his divine mandate to shepherd? Guilt ensues.
Stress impacts individuals differently. Some struggle with eating too much. Ever wonder why so many pastors who get up in front of people every week are overweight? Study cortisol or stress eating and its effects and you may better understand the curious phenomenon where an individual who is constantly in the public eye consistently remains over-weight.
Another interesting study would be the gut health of pastors. The gut is known as “the second brain of the body.” The gut produces serotonin that protects from depression. How many pastors struggle with gastric maladies such as Crones disease, IBS, or ulcers from carrying constant stress.
Depression and anxiety often runs rampant in pastoral circles. Thom Rainer articulates the plight of the pastor well,
Most pastors are not suicidal. But most pastors do struggle. They lead churches in a culture that is not friendly to their calling. Three-fourths of them lead churches that are struggling by almost any measure or metric. Many pastors are on the precipice of quitting, and most church members have no idea of their inner turmoil.
In the midst of these cultural and congregational challenges, these pastors see a decided shift among the members. Their commitment level is low, and their frequency of attendance is decreasing. Many of the members are in the congregation to get their personal preferences fulfilled. And if you mess with their preferred worship style, order of worship, time of worship, color of carpet, or any facet of the church facility, they will let you know. Their trinitarian priority is me, myself, and I.
These pastors have been stabbed in the front by church members and stabbed in the back by other staff. They love their church members; but they are deeply hurt when that love is returned with cynicism, criticism, and apathy.
High amounts of stress can also lower resistance to moral failures. Stress can increase a minister’s temptation to act out or cut corners in areas that will come to haunt him later. Physical and emotional affairs, addictions to pornography, gambling, prescription drug abuse, or risky life decisions can all stem from poor response to stress. In recent memory, several big name pastors have succumbed to the dark side of power and compromised their ability to lead and minister because of decisions they have made.
Pastors feel the stress of being in the public eye. The level of perfection that a pastor is held to by both individuals and the community can almost be asphyxiating. As a spiritual leader, pastors are placed on a pedestal that often leaves little room for humanity. They are suppose to be spiritual leaders. While rock stars, social media personalities, politicians, and sports professionals can check into rehab and then return to their normal lives. Pastors are simply not afforded this luxury.
Beyond all these stressors is the impact on pastor’s families. How many pastors’ kids and wives are miserable because their husband and father is always on edge? Divorce, rebellious children, neglected families are all potential casualties resulting from a failure to properly carry or address stress. Like their husbands and dads, wives and kids of pastors are placed on pedestals and have few if anyone to turn to if struggling.
I will never forget, talking to the wife of a pastor from my childhood. She had always been at church with a smile and a kind word, but one Sunday when home from seminary I had asked her how she was doing. For the next 10 minutes, she stood in the hall and shared how miserable and lonely she was as a pastor’s wife. I was shocked! As years of frustration poured out I wondered, did anyone know how hurt and alone this woman was? Could anything have been done differently?
As I write, I am keenly aware of the emotional impact of stress on the physical. I am currently trying to heal from an ulcer that manifested almost a year ago. While physically I am in good shape, emotionally the stress of the last two years is cashing its check . I am now consistently reminded from the pain in my side that stress if not managed correctly will eventually manifest itself in the emotional, physical, or spiritual realms. While I have hope that my ulcer will heal, many struggle to cope with the impact of stress.
In the next chapter of our journey, we will look at some surprising statistics regarding pastoral burn-out. In later chapters, we will then look toward best practices, solutions, and applications for both the pastor, the church, and church members.
No comments:
Post a Comment