Day 3 - Culture Shock

What am I seeing? What do I feel? How will I respond?

Crossing cultures is fun for the adventurous; for linear thinkers with a high need for control (like me) it can be tough.  

Definition: culture shock is the realization of how inadequately your world fits with their world (94).  "If you truly cross a culture, you will feel culture shock." 

Emotional responses could include - confusion, frustration, embarrassment and even repulsion. We rarely see culture shock coming and often struggle to identify it when it arrives. 

Note: Culture shock is not an indicator of spiritual maturity. The variable that makes culture shock positive or negative is how we respond. 

2 responses: 

red lining: attempting to withdraw and isolate ourselves from the culture.  Those that respond to culture shock by withdrawing, decide, based on their negative emotions, that the culture is bad, Acts 11:1-3. 

green lining: experiencing culture shock and using it as an opportunity to continue to build trust or to learn more about the culture.  To greenline is to take the feelings of discord and use it as a learning moment. Acts 10  see people through God's eyes, state your emotions, God reassures, Peter moved forward, opened his eyes and observed, asked questions, and didn't isolate himself.

Day 2 - Comfort Zone

This is way outside my comfort zone!  What am I doing here?

1) God called, provided, and afforded the opportunity to go on mission (others were not able to go do to health, prior commitments, and fear of the unknown).

2) You are taking part in the great commission (making disciples) and putting feet to your faith.

3) You are taking a risk. 

Risk Management:

1) Jesus rewards Godly risk (Mt. 6:25-33).

2) There are no guarantees.

3) All of life involves risk.

4) when you do need to risk, risk on things that are worth it.

5) manage risk by training yourself to do three things: be alert, be knowledgeable, and be wise.

6) when something bad happens - be calm and compliant.

7) don't make the focus of your trip eliminating or managing risk.

How should I respond to fear? Pray and jump in.

How should I respond to the unexpected?  Be flexible, have fun, and don't flip out.  

Day 1 - Short Term Missions

Why short term missions blesses the church.

The short-term missions trip has increased in popularity in recent times due to:

1) Accessibility (air travel).

2) A desire for faith to go beyond the academic; we want to experience God.  

For example - A top selling book of the 1970's was Knowing God while a top selling book of the 1990's was Experiencing God.

3) The mission field is a setting where we lose "control."  The loss of "control" turns our focus and dependency toward God.

4) Good theology - we reflect God.  God has a “missions mindset.” 

Theologians call this the missio dei.  "From the first pages of the Bible to the very last, we see God consistently state his concern for the world" (p. 28) Gen. 22:18, Matt. 28:19-20, Mk 11:17, Rom 10:13-14, Rev 7:9

Take some time to process "What are my expectations of this trip?"

Benefits of a short-term mission.

1) Changes your understanding of scripture (new eyes) - we all have cultural and personal blind spots to the Bible.

• Worship: Revelation 5:9- every tribe and tongue.  
• Joy: Mark 10:28 
• Gifts: Jeremiah 29:13 (Matt 7:7) other context (visions, dreams, healing). 
• Your own testimony (Acts 1:8).

2) Creates a deeper perspective of the church (new eyes).

• God is always working the question is where? (2 Chronicles 16:9; Matthew 9:36-38, Matthew 16:18)
• Look for persecution and poverty! Matthew 5 - The poor - kingdom of heaven/The persecuted - kingdom of heaven
• Different needs of regions: eternal security & evangelism (western church) vs. doctrine & teaching - every region needs all four but sometimes they require a different diet to become more balanced.

3) Challenges your faith  (new eyes)

• Faith - Hebrews 11:6 (hurdles: $, leaving family, time off)
• Strengthens understanding - Isaiah 40:31 - Physical, spiritual, emotionally
• Example: 1 Timothy 4:12-13

Emotional Survival for Pastors: A Pastors Journey - Part 4

Emotions Impact the Physical

This morning, I woke to the news that a pastor had passed away from a heart attack. The smiling pictures of his young wife and kids on social media shouted that he was a man taken before his time. Sadly, incidents like these are not isolated. The day before another pastor in the area had died of a heart attack, he also was too young. I pressed my hand into my own chest and felt my heart beat as I wondered. It had only been two months since I had my own heart medically tested. I was under a lot of stress and had been experiencing chest pains. After talking to my doctor, it was decided that due to the amount of stress I had been carrying, a test would be wise. I have been a pastor for seven years in a healthy, medium sized church that cares for me well. I turn forty years old this June.

Stress impacts people. While many, if not most pastors, find their work to be fulfilling and life-giving, it doesn’t diminish the stress that comes with working day-in and day-out with people. Sure there are ways to cope and different personality types field people in unique ways. There are best practices to handle stress, even though we as pastors are always “on call” and ministering to people. The graphic below charts performance versus stress and explains the results of a role that carry constant stress. 

From the most difficult to the easy-going, people are the ministry. Ministry happens in the moment, during sacred study time, over the weekend, during your down time, while you are on vacation. Often the inconvenience is the ministry.

Pastors go into ministry to make Christ known. Yet, surprisingly the amount of people interaction can lead a pastor to social isolation as well as powerful internal conflicts. This can lead the pastor to see people as an inconvenience. Pastors want to help people; hopefully one of the reasons they went into ministry in the first place. Over time though they can grow to dread people and the problems that they carry. This leads to internal conflict and guilt in the pastor. How can an individual who wants to help people now desire to avoid people? How can a pastor desire to avoid his divine mandate to shepherd? Guilt ensues.

Stress impacts individuals differently. Some struggle with eating too much. Ever wonder why so many pastors who get up in front of people every week are overweight? Study cortisol or stress eating and its effects and you may better understand the curious phenomenon where an individual who is constantly in the public eye consistently remains over-weight. 

Another interesting study would be the gut health of pastors. The gut is known as “the second brain of the body.” The gut produces serotonin that protects from depression. How many pastors struggle with gastric maladies such as Crones disease, IBS, or ulcers from carrying constant stress.

Depression and anxiety often runs rampant in pastoral circles. Thom Rainer articulates the plight of the pastor well, 

Most pastors are not suicidal. But most pastors do struggle. They lead churches in a  culture that is not friendly to their calling. Three-fourths of them lead churches that are struggling by almost any measure or metric. Many pastors are on the precipice of quitting, and most church members have no idea of their inner turmoil. 

In the midst of these cultural and congregational challenges, these pastors see a decided shift among the members. Their commitment level is low, and their frequency of attendance is decreasing. Many of the members are in the congregation to get their personal preferences fulfilled. And if you mess with their preferred worship style, order of worship, time of worship, color of carpet, or any facet of the church facility, they will let you know. Their trinitarian priority is me, myself, and I. 

These pastors have been stabbed in the front by church members and stabbed in the back by other staff. They love their church members; but they are deeply hurt when that love is returned with cynicism, criticism, and apathy. 

High amounts of stress can also lower resistance to moral failures. Stress can increase a minister’s temptation to act out or cut corners in areas that will come to haunt him later. Physical and emotional affairs, addictions to pornography, gambling, prescription drug abuse, or risky life decisions can all stem from poor response to stress. In recent memory, several big name pastors have succumbed to the dark side of power and compromised their ability to lead and minister because of decisions they have made.

Pastors feel the stress of being in the public eye. The level of perfection that a pastor is held to by both individuals and the community can almost be asphyxiating. As a spiritual leader, pastors are placed on a pedestal that often leaves little room for humanity. They are suppose to be spiritual leaders. While rock stars, social media personalities, politicians, and sports professionals can check into rehab and then return to their normal lives. Pastors are simply not afforded this luxury. 

Beyond all these stressors is the impact on pastor’s families. How many pastors’ kids and wives are miserable because their husband and father is always on edge? Divorce, rebellious children, neglected families are all potential casualties resulting from a failure to properly carry or address stress. Like their husbands and dads, wives and kids of pastors are placed on pedestals and have few if anyone to turn to if struggling.

I will never forget, talking to the wife of a pastor from my childhood. She had always been at church with a smile and a kind word, but one Sunday when home from seminary I had asked her how she was doing. For the next 10 minutes, she stood in the hall and shared how miserable and lonely she was as a pastor’s wife. I was shocked! As years of frustration poured out I wondered, did anyone know how hurt and alone this woman was? Could anything have been done differently?

As I write, I am keenly aware of the emotional impact of stress on the physical. I am currently trying to heal from an ulcer that manifested almost a year ago. While physically I am in good shape, emotionally the stress of the last two years is cashing its check . I am now consistently reminded from the pain in my side that stress if not managed correctly will eventually manifest itself in the emotional, physical, or spiritual realms. While I have hope that my ulcer will heal, many struggle to cope with the impact of stress.

In the next chapter of our journey, we will look at some surprising statistics regarding pastoral burn-out. In later chapters, we will then look toward best practices, solutions, and applications for both the pastor, the church, and church members.

Emotional Survival for Pastors: A Pastor's Journey - Part 3

Idealism versus Reality

I would stand at the door each Sunday next to a seasoned greeter and real-estate agent in the community and hold the door for people as they came in. Most, if not all, would smile and greet my with pleasant banter. They had come to worship. Slowly, I began to remember peoples names. Each Sunday I would wake and make a mental note of how many Sundays I had now been a pastor. I stopped counting at 32 Sundays. At the same time, the novelty of ministry began to wear off and reality began to set in, ministry is never ending and the pastor is always “on.”

For the newly hired pastor there is a substantial learning curve and much work to do. This will be accompanied by the awesome weight of responsibility that the pastor now shoulders, the health of a church and the shepherding of souls. Weekly expectations of preaching, teaching, leading, and shepherding must be met. An understanding of the church’s culture, systems of power, and strengths and weaknesses must be gained. The pastor must seek to understand and assimilate himself into this new culture and surroundings while bringing creative ideas to his environment. If fortunate, he will tackle these challenges with gusto and little adversity. Time will quickly pass-by.

Others may have to address prevailing issues that manifest after their arrival. These can range from discovering unforeseen sacred cows to direct confrontation from those who are openly hostile to new leadership. Friends must be won and skeptics turned. Conflicts have a way of compounding and if not resolved may threaten the stability of the new pastor. According to Lifeway research, in the late 1990s the median tenure for a pastor was 3.6 years, in 2008 the median tenure was 4.0, and in 2016 the median tenure was 6.0. Thom Rainer offers 6 reasons for this increase in tenure, but the old adage often repeated in seminary, “If you make it five years, you are good,” rings true.

During the first two years the new pastor will be consumed with the pursuits of acclimating. If placed in a healthy church, he will be met with a certain amount of success and embraced by the majority of his congregation. There will be no ends to ministry opportunity and the need for community engagement. Often this pressure can quickly lead to a workaholic mentality. Pastors can develop identity altering postures that are driven by the weekly checklists, addiction to the need for success, or succumb to people-pleasing. 

Another formidable challenge that will be realized by the new pastor is that the “product” or “clientele” which the pastor deals in will rarely have measurable deliverables. A pastor’s job is unique as his medium is the spiritual vitality of the soul. The irony is that ultimately God and the individual whose soul is in view are responsible for spiritual growth.  This leaves the pastor as a cheerleader or coach with little power to control the final outcomes. The reality is that people change slowly or not at all.

There are many objectives in ministry, but these can be hard to quantify.  Unlike a salesman, manufacturer, or business man - numbers, nickles, and noses in a ministry context make poor metrics. There are a myriad of factors that can influence these metrics, but the weight of this burden is often carried by the pastor. This is a challenge as the average church in North America is plateaued or in decline. The net effect can be that the pastor has the sense that he is on a sinking ship. If the pastor serves in a culture which is experiencing moral and spiritual decline, he may also struggle with feelings of being on the “losing team.” Guilt arises from asking the question, “Could I have done more on my watch to stem the tide?” The answer to this no-win question is always “yes.”

Great job satisfaction can be found in ministry, and many pastors enjoy their vocation. Yet, the reality is that there are a disproportional amount of ministry chores required to engage in the ministry work. Some will struggle with the rapidity of ministry chores and the siloed nature of ministry. Pastoring can also be lonely. If placed in a niche role some may grow bored of their specialty wishing for broader horizons, while other pastors who are forced to be generalist may long to specialize. Discouragement can arise from monotony of work, loneliness, or discontentment with the present circumstances.

A stark reality of ministry is that there are no boundaries. Human need is infinite. Life happens and for this reason pastors articulate feeling on call 24 hours a day, seven days a week. When they are at church, around their church members, or in the community they are “on.” This phenomenon can cause a pastor to want to withdraw from the normalcy of life or at the least avoid engaging to his fullest in ministering to people. In a survivalist defense mechanism, emotional boundaries are drawn, and people, even friends, are held at arms length. Isolation can lead to depression.

Perhaps the greatest, unforeseen challenge of the pastor is the extent of the brokenness that he will face in the lives of those around him.  Upon reflection he will understand his own shortcomings and brokenness in a new light. What was once a bright and idealistic world quickly becomes a world shadowed by the reality of sin, shame, and suffering both in the pastor’s own life and in the lives of those around him. When bad things happen, pastors often become the first to know, are sought out for answers, and the last to be able to move on.

There sits in my garage a massive piece of furniture designed to reside near an entry way. It is made out of an old door for a back, a massive chest at the base, and scrap pieces of wood that make various shelves and cubbies. Over the course of a year this work took shape in my garage. The piece is not necessarily beautiful or perfect, but it cooperated and each week it reflected the impact of my efforts. It is a testament to man's need for progress. Yet this is not the only project. Other years it was the yard, a room remodeled, a Ph.D. completed. It has been said the that impact of ministry can be compared to water dripping on a rock. Over time, it leaves its mark. All things of value take time. Some take longer than others. Ministry, at its core, is a time game, and five years is probably not a bad place to start.

Emotional Survival for Pastors: A Pastor's Journey - Part 2

Ministry Training

Six months before graduation, I began to send out resumes for a spectrum of pastoral positions. I had just turned 30 years old and was eager to engage in full time ministry.  Interested churches would send long, theological questionnaires in an attempt to vet candidates. Interviews materialized, yet no job was secured. I was a small fish in a large ocean.  According to the Association of Theological Schools there were approximately 55,000 students enrolled in theological master’s degrees the year I began school.

It was 2009, the housing bubble had just burst, and the economy was struggling.  One small church of 50 in Colorado (eastern Colorado) replied to my inquiry that they suspended their search process as they had been overwhelmed by 120 resumes in a week.

Another church after considering my resume commented that they were getting applicants with 15-20 years experience. After three rounds of interviews, one church identified me to be their final candidate only to be told that two of their fourteen member search committee didn’t have peace about my appointment.  Unanimity was required, the head of the search team sounded genuinely dejected as he explained that they would be starting their search process all over. 

A year after graduating with a four year master’s degree from a prestigious evangelical seminary, I found a job in the non-profit sector.  Again, I began the process of relocating my family, which now included two kids in diapers, to another metropolitan city for a third move in six years. I had known this outcome was a possibility before seminary, but I didn’t believe the statistics would apply to me.

Coming out of academia, ministry is a new world.  While ministry experience may have been gained in past seasons or in a limited capacity before seminary training, most seminarians have limited ministry experience.  Some may have been part of an internship, but few will have had substantial preaching or shepherding experience. As in most fields, expertise comes with time and practice.  Gaining ministry experience while navigating the transition from the idealism of the academic world to the realities of ministry world are challenges that must be overcome. Having completed the first leg of their journey, the freshly minted pastor now faces several hurdles: the first of which is finding a ministry position where they can begin to gain experience.

There are five options seminarians face. One option is to take a niche roll on a large church staff. These positions are few and hard to come by as an inexperienced pastor.  The niche will often be decided by a pastors gift mix, prior ministry experience, and academic training.  Once begun, a ministry niche will drive the pastor toward a specialty such as education, youth, children, music, or community development. Whether this ministry niche is to be their life-time vocational calling is predicted by fate and circumstance. 

A second option is to serve at a medium-size church.  Again, these positions are limited and often reserved for those with experience.  While specific roles are often delineated, a medium-sized church provides the opportunity to be more of a generalist taking part in various roles and responsibilities within the life of the church.

A third option is to serve in a small church.  Here the pastor will find himself, all things to all men.  According to the Hartford Institute the median church size in the United States (excluding Catholic and Orthodox churches) is 75 regular participants in worship and 59% of churches have a weekly attendance less than 99 individuals.

Approximate Distribution of U.S. Protestant and Other Christian Churches by size *based on NCS study
(excluding Catholic/Orthodox)

ATTENDANCE	# OF CHURCHES	WEEKLY WORSHIPERS	PERCENT
7-99	177,000	9 million	59%
100-499	105,000	25 million	35%
500-999	12,000	9 million	4%
1,000-1,999	6,000	8 million	2%
2,000-9,999	1,170	4 million	0.4%
10,000-plus	40	.7 million	0.01%
TOTALS	approx. 300,000	approx. 56 million	100%

A forth option is a ministry role outside of a church setting such as a non-profit ministry or para-church organization. This option is often a stretch for the seminary graduate as their seminary training has been focused toward the church world to which they initially felt called.  This option can also come with the unique challenge of fundraising.

A final option for those that struggle to find placement is to find employment in a different vocation for a season.  This option can lead to great discouragement as well as a serious crisis of identity for an individual who has invested heavily in seminary training and felt the call to enter into ministry.

It is within the context of one of these environments that the minister must begin to engage in ministry in order to gain experience.  Success may be difficult to quantify.  Success can be measured from a personal vantage point: ministry satisfaction, fit within the church and staff culture, opportunities for continuing growth and development, and financial stability could all be considered success. Yet, success in ministry from a professional view point can be an elusive target.

The pressures of securing a ministry position along with financial provision, continued transitions, and the difficulty of clearly defining ministry success can all lead to insecurities, anxiety, and emotional duress in the pastor’s life.  These stressors, in many ways, are to be expected and can be calculated for, but what is impossible to calculate is the higher hurdle of moving away from the ideal of ministry into the very present reality of ministering to people.  This is reality which academia cannot train for, it knows no boundaries, and if not carefully navigated, will in due time have a tremendous negative emotional, physical, and spiritual impact on the pastor.

Emotional Survival for Pastors: A Pastor's Journey - Part 1

The First Leg

As we pulled away from Indianapolis, I was excited and terrified. We had just said bye to our family and friends. Two weeks before I had quit my job, moved out from our rented house, sold one of our cars, packed what little we had in the bulkhead of a semi-trailer and the rest in our used Cutlass Ciera, and struck out for Dallas, Texas. My bride of a year and a half and I were effectively jobless, homeless, and heading to Texas. My heart raced as we merged onto the highway. I was more than apprehensive, I was scared. We were on the road to seminary. 

The roads to pastoral ministry are many but often begin with academic studies.  A recent survey in 2010 by Lifeway Research found that two-thirds of 1,000 surveyed Protestant pastors had obtained at least a Masters degree.  Among the same population, 85% had taken seminary classes.  For non-Protestants or Catholic clergy, seminary training is an assumed part of the journey.

The first leg of the ministry journey often begins with some degree of destabilization. Finances as well as proximity to family and friends are often the first upfront sacrifices for those pursuing ministry. Some will enter into ministry roles later in life thereby potentially leap-frogging over academia due to their unique life experience. Often those without a theological education may struggle with insecurity because of their lack of education. 

Yet for most, a ministry calling signals a season in academia. Increasingly perspective ministry candidates are seeking on-line education which squeeze resources, eat up time, and demand extra emotional energy. Whether pursuing brick and mortar or an on-line education, the shift into academia for the sake of ministry will often require personal sacrifice. For the majority, these sacrifices seem to pale in the light of being called to ministry, but some may find that they wrestle with these sacrifices later down the road.

For many, heading to seminary requires moving across state-lines and leaving family, friends, and potentially careers.  These careers may have provided comfortable lifestyles as well as funding for theological education. Economically those who serve in ministry can expect to earn far below their peers in others fields. This fact is well known to the ministry student, but confidence of being the exception to the rule can cause this reality to be dismissed.

For two to four years, depending on the degree track, the ministry student will join others whose call have led them onto a similar path.  Seminarians will often make new friends quickly centered on their shared proximity, study, and mission.  The camaraderie is similar to the collegiate undergraduate experience or the life long friendships that can be forged in the military.

For older students with families, forming new relational bonds is more challenging. Families demand time and energy and decrease the ability of a newly transitioned student to connect relationally.  As finances are a necessity for academic pursuits and family provisions, many will take up a part or full time job on top of a full time academic schedule. The sheer demand of hours required to meet academic and financial needs will produce strain on the ministry student. To combat fatigue there are many positive emotions in this academic season which outweigh the strain.  These positive emotions stem from seeing God’s provision, a shared calling and experience, new friendships and common belief, and a shared mission with a future vision for ministry impact.  In addition valuable theological, pastoral, and specified or niche training is being gained.

For many ministry students financial instability, the sacrifice of old friendships, and the redefining of family bonds are a small price to pay for the high call of ministry. Old friendships get placed on the back burner as academic responsibilities, financial demands, and the necessity for new friendships reduce relational capacity.  Familial bonds are redefined by distance, time apart, and the realities of living in two separate worlds. While peers and family members’ lives move on as they climb the corporate ladder, upgrade their home, and spend time with family, the ministry student’s life feels suspended and frozen in an academic tunnel where little forward progress is made in the way of life change.  They survive in this continuum until graduation day arrives. Often these losses are minimized and even go unnoticed by the ministry student who is excited to begin, follow through, and finish the first leg of their journey into ministry.

North Litchfield Beach - pit stops!

As we said goodbye to the beach and ventured back through the back roads of SC, we came across a pit stop where the "El Cheapo" gas station advertised "butt meat" and "liver puddin." We felt that this was too good to pass by so we stopped for boil peanuts and to tank L up. The boiled peanuts were slightly below average, but the diversity was high as the clerk was from India. For lunch we stopped just past Columbia where we frequented the chipotle (for K's dietary restrictions) before we hit up CFA.

Our chipotle bathroom experience was memorable as I ventured in solo with Luke and Ava Marie.  As we were in the men's, the men went first followed by Ava Marie.  The scene that unfolded was memorable.  Luke having done his business now proceeded to the sink to wash his hands while Ava Marie climbed up onto the commode and clung precariously to the seat which was not designed for an almost three year old.  Watching her dexterity on the lid, I failed to notice that Luke had applied liquid soap all the way to his elbows as if scrubbing in for a surgery.  I immediately stepped in and began to ration the liberal amount of hand soap that Luke was applying, out of the corner of my eye I watched Ava Marie shift to the side of the seat where she could better stabilize (smart!) in order to concentrate at the task at hand.  Having positioned herself, she began vigorously applying herself.  At that moment Luke, feeling satisfied that he had sufficiently washed his hands and elbows discovered the jet powered drier.  The moment his little fist punched the drier into action, I knew that we were all in trouble!  The sound reverberated with a deafening roar off the concrete floor.  Her concentration completely derailed, I watched as Ava Marie's hands instinctively shot from their Vulcan grasp to cover her ears.  She rocked precariously and decided it would be best to keep one hand engaging the seat and the other covering an ear.  As she doubled over to escape the sound, she let out a screech joining the jet powered drier.  To resolve the problem, I immediately began barking orders into the tumult!  "Ava Marie, it's ok!  Luke, don't touch the drier!"

Once relative calm had been reestablished and Ava Marie had been coaxed to proceed, we began to wait.  As Luke's bathroom break was complete, he decided it would be a good time to exit.  I  explained in earnest to Luke that we had a no kid left behind policy and that he had better not open the door.  We would hang out till his little sister was finished.  I saw in his minds eye that his hands could use a little more drying, I emphatically told him no.  I began to wander how much of the proceeding tumult could be heard by the very patient man outside, who I imagined was contemplating how using the ladies would impact his manhood.  For good measure, and the sake of my fellow man waiting outside the door contemplating gender suicide, I beseeched Ava Marie to hurry.  Formative instances like these are probably why most don't like to be rushed in lieu.  As we waited, I found myself asking Ava Marie for the third time "are you done yet?"  Finally she nodded and we headed toward the sink, while I kept my eye on Luke who was hovering by the door and who I feared would attempt a quick escape.

Thinking again of the unfortunate man who was waiting for us to vacate, I quickly dashed some water over Ava Marie's hands omitting the application of soap.  Maybe it was being second to use the commode, maybe the ear shattering dryer, maybe her daddy asking her 5 times if she was finished, but at the omission of hand soap Ava Marie came undone!  We made a quick, but not to quiet exit.  Luke pulling me toward the exit and Ava Marie pulling me back toward the bathroom.  I managed a dignified nod to the obviously relieved gentleman as we exited to continue our 900 mile journey home.

North Litchfield Beach - third times a charm!

I was dreading the 17 hour ride with three kids under five from Benton IL through ATL through Columbia to Litchfield Beach.  Surprisingly the two night transit went quickly with the help of sunflower seeds and two portable DVD players - I think I got stickers and a picture book when I was young. We've come a long way!

 Our third "beach" vacation in 4 years, we appear to be keeping pace with our kid production. We established an am beach rhythm with the kids. The kids got more adventurous each day and were the adult's entertainment. Luke was inseparable from his "cutlass" pirate sword from uncle J and aunt S. Ava Marie has started to respond to adults by saying "uh-huh, uh-huh!" She was not quite as bold as her big brother in the waves but was not shy at working grandmother's puzzle. L hated the beach crying (more of a high pitch squeal!) and pulling his feet up everytime he would touch the sand or water, but as consolation - like his granddad - he discovered watermelons and loves them.

During our family picture foray we encountered a white crab - not sure if Ava Marie or the crab will ever be the same.  Both freaked out! The crab tried to escape while Ava Marie shrieked at the top of her lungs (even though daddy was holding her 4 feet off the ground). Fortunately no one had to go to the ER . . . swimmer's ear (1st year), stingray (2nd year) . . . K and I enjoyed two late night walks on the beach and went shopping while grandparents watched the kids . . . should probably watch your wives and husbands too!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_oYnM9DD04s&feature=related

then

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHpluwP328A&feature=youtube_gdata_player

A Time Gone By - St. Louis (Marriage Conference)

This was our third marriage conference in four years. We had to laugh, maybe God was trying to tell us something? The ride from Benton to St. Louis is pretty and relaxing - the green of the corn field would be interupted by the bronzed yellow of the wheat and then the green would resume. In stark contrast East St. Louis is one of the more impoverished places I've ever seen - almost ghostly.

We arrived at the Millenium hotel a day early. The hotel had several things going for it: close the arch, a great view, and a swimming pool. In the morning K went to see her good friend Lisa while I went for a jog to the other side of the Mississippi river and through the park at the base of the arch. Constructed in the 60s the arch brings to mind the ability of modern engineering and at times a cheesy sci fi movie (the skin of the arch is metal and it is a little random :)

After a little exploration which took me from the basilica on the river up through a string of parks and hotels and after the lady at the kiosk shut down my request for more informational fliers, K and rendezvoused and ate at a fun Italian restraunt cadi-corner from the court house and then hoofed it 10 blocks to Union Station in the heat . . . Our dogs were barking!

Union station was like being imported into rouring twenties. All of the opulence of the robber baron's and the grandure of the industrial revolution seemed to be encapsulated in this grand old building. When we arrived the porter informed us that on our return we could take the metro. Wish I would have known this before we walked the 10 blocks. We wrapped up our time in St. Louis at the arch (I napped and K read). All in all St. Louis is a quiet, medium size city that looks back to a time of prominence in our nations history.

The Real World - Wilmore, KY

The man was wearing a pair of cut off jeans, a black v-neck tee from the early 80s, and a well worn pair of fabric crocs. He got out of his cherry red mini van and in tow was a young girl. As I watched him in the reflection of the gas station window pane, I thought to myself, "whose that dorky dad?" Katherine did not appreciate as I shared my thoughts as she wondered where that left her being married to me - the dad in question. We were in rout to our sister's graduation in Wilmore KY when I caught a glimpse of myself in the windows of a gas station.

It had been 9 years since we had last been in Wilmore. Four worlds removed (Benton, Dallas, Atlanta, and Lafayette) and three kids later, we could only remember bits and pieces of our last trip. A bed and breakfast with a double bed, squeaky springs, situated next to a railroad track were some of my faint memories of our last trip. As I watched "aunt" Becs graduate (way to go Aunt Becs!!), I reminisced on my past graduations. Like our first visit to Wilmore they are a little fuzzy . . . My high school gym, open houses,and anticipation of college; the Purdue marching band, Elliot Hall, and a sea of graduates, wondering what the next step would be; Prestonwood, my professors, the commencement speaker that encouraged us to stay close to Christ and His Word, pictures with Luke in my cap, and again wondering where we would go next . . .

The time in Wilmore was filled with CFA, a giant play ground, slumber parties with "aunt Becs, cartoons (we don't get any tv), and happy reunions with Grandmother and Granddad. I did manage to get one run in around Asbury College, bringing ever closer to home the fact that I have "graduated" from the fairy tailed halls of academia and find myself mid stride in the "real world" that the honorary speaker warned the graduates they were facing.  A world where my highlights now consist of watching Ava Marie have her hair French braided by grandmother, helping little Hadden fall asleep on the car ride home, or navigating the playground with Luke leading the way!

A Rocky End to a Smooth Start

By dawn we were at the GA line, breakfast in Chatanooga, lunch in Nashville, and around 3pm we were in Illinois. All in all we fared well on our 10 hour drive, but were wiped out by the time we joined the Auten's for dinner. Arriving to our suite we found it filled with snacks and goodies; a reflection of things to come - Rock on!

The weekend was a blur. Saturday was spent being surveyed by three different groups in three hours - highlight was being on stage with K answering questions from the church body and sensing that the deacons were on the same page with an attitude of ownership that I was pleasantly surprised and impressed by! These things always have the potential of being rocky, but we both felt the Lord allowed a very smooth and "easy" Q and A time. Saturday night the gym was filled for the Valentine's banquet. Two hours later we left with faces hurting from smiling and laughing so hard (though we had already commented that our grinners had been hurting from all smiling we had done in the morning :). This church loves to laugh and had a ball with their slightly sacrilidgeous "church ladies" who MCed then roasted their "young" pastors (me included) in a not so newly wed game. I'm not throwing stones (small rocks), but these ladies didn't pull any punches! Girldles, worst habits, IQ comparisons, breath ratings . . . suddenly remembering now that the mid-west culture is very much say it how it is! Good times!

Sunday morning, I woke up exhausted! My introvert batteries were screaming - by noon, I must have shaken 1,000 hands (the church ran 450 + at the services). Conversations varied from background to the weather - one lady informed me that she had longjohns on (see above concerning mid-west culture :). I was completely innondated by names . . . there are 5 Kays in the choir alone. The vote was 99% in favor of calling us - going to need a rock for my collection. I chalked up the 4 "nos" to the church ladies. After a celebratory lunch we hunted for houses - came away thinking we will need to be patient. By Sunday evening I was depleted and a little nervous; this would be by far the largest crowd I have ever preached too (350+). I broke out the rocks which got a good response. K said that I was a little fuzzy in the middle of the message, but all in all I delivered! In other words, "You Rock!"

Monday we began the trek home - 45 minutes from a home a semi threw a small rock which zinged the corner of our windshield. I watched as the nick grew from a dimple into a 6 inch crack - meaning it would have to be replaced. Amazing how the little things in life have the greatest potential to drive you off your rocker!!

Gate E16

My Rock was waiting for me as usual at gate E16, but this time my rock would return with me. By my calculations this is my sixth or seventh trip to DFW during the last two years with AL. I acquired my rock shortly after transitioning to Apartment Life to memorialize a dream that God had called me to put on hold - as usual I struggled and God blessed despite His initially disenchanted servant.

Running parallel with my own journey, I had had a plan for this rock two years ago that didn't come to fruition. My memorial stone was to ride home with me in my carry on bag until the TSA agent informed me that I couldn't carry on small boulders onto the plane. Having become emotionally attached to my igneous friend, I couldnt abandon him (yes, this one is a male) so I placed him strategicly in the DFW airport landscaping at E16.

By coincidence one of the themes for our staff meeting was rocks of remembrances. As I wrapped up my presentation to the senior leadership, I brought out my rock and shared how God had been faithful during my two year season with AL. I then requested that my rock be shipped to GA where it can be joined with the rest of my rock collection as we prepare to make the jump to S. Illinois.

Seven reasons to study James

1. One of two books of the Bible written by a brother of Christ - imagine always being compared to your older brother who happens to be the Son of God! :)
2. Likely the first book penned out of the New Testament corpus ("wik" it).
3. Short and straight forward - 5 chapters.
4. Luther called it a "right strawy epistle!"
5. Addresses problems we face today - trials, dysfunctional people, and our own pride.
6. 60 imperatives packed into 108 verses; a plum line realigning our lives & bringing God's economy in focus.
7. Called "Proverbs of the New Testament"

The Crossroad's class will be launching into the book of James over the next few months. In an attempt to chew steak (see previous post), if you would like to get more out of the God's Word please consider taking the following challenge (SBX style)!  We will be starting next week with James 1:1-18 (pages. 22-26).

Tall - read James 3 times in a week
Grande - work through the James study (prior to Sunday) - see link "James study" on the right side of blog under Crossroad's Bible Study
Venti - James study + memory verse - see table of contents in study material

Fillet Mignon or Gerber "baby" food?

Every Sunday morning American Christians get up and enjoy one possible two doses of the Word of God.  While this intake of God's Word is designed to be a compliment to a week filled with self study of God's Word, it is highly probable that for many this might be the only intake of God's Word. 

To those that I have had the privilege to teach I enjoy likening the homily/lesson of pastor/teacher on Sunday morning to Gerber baby food - it's easily consumed, delivered by another, and there has been no effort on the part of the receiver in the preparation - in short they are consuming what has been "pre-chewed" by someone else!  Imaging eating baby food all your life - the growth would not be impressive (convicting?)! 

I like to say, Gerber is for baby, but the end game is Fillet Mignon - much better!  The goal is to grow up and  learn to "chew" your own food!  Those that learn to "chew" God's Word for themselves (2 Tim 2:15) will find that the "pre-chewed" doses of God's Word that were once their only sustenance as "babes" in infancy becomes a delightful dessert or to complete the word picture the "icing on the cake" after a nice steak!

A Georgia Christmas

Thanks to the imminent arrival of baby # 3, for the first Christmas in seven years we didn't feverishly pack up and make the pilgrimage to Indiana. We did observe the traditional Christmas Eve service, followed by "Chinese" take out, and the opening of our Paschal pajamas. Thoreau aptly observed that "Every child begins the world again!" and for us this meant "birthing" a new GA tradition. After opening gifts on Christmas morning we drove across the street to Waffle House - the only establishment open 24/7 365 days a year. It was packed!! Once we had downed waffles and chocolate milk we all came home and played with our new toys till nap time. Very nice!!

Editor's note:
daddy broke out in a severe rash the next day - no more crab rangoonies:(
papa and grandma and uncle S and aunt J got leveled by 48 hour flew bug:( - we avoided the plague :)

The ABCs of Thanksgiving

A - Apartment Life: employing me, stretching, ministry focused, and hardly ever boring
B - Benton and Babymoons: an unforeseen development at an opportune time
C - Crossroads Life Group: launched in the fall, provides opportunity to use my spiritual gift
D - Doughnuts: kids love 'em & the Kroger near us makes a mean creme filled long john
E - Elam Ministries: a unique opportunity to ministered to and be ministered by the persecuted church
F - Fall: Georgia's falls are the most spectacular I've ever experienced: colorful and long
G - Generations: Nanny, the GGs, Grandparents, the Carpenters, Campbells, & the Williams
H - History: listened to a lectureship on Rome (50+ lessons); I love history!
I - iPad (and iPhone): love them
J - Jack: my new boss, a gifted leader and valued friend
K - Katherine: my very pregnant wife - still need a name!
L - Ladies Ministry: seeded the idea to read through the Bible in a year
M - Monty: joined the PCBC choir and learned that I am a first tenor who loves choir
N - No commute: 0.9 mile commute and access to anything we need within a 3 mile radius
O - Operations and Strategy: skill sets that I've been able to leverage in work and church
P - Presidents: have read several great bios this year
Q - Quality time: errands are a joy, Saturdays are fun, and horizons are ever broadening
R - Radical Group: deepen my commitment to share my faith and has strengthened my walk
S - Simpsonwood UMC Retreat Center: prayer mornings are savored here
T - Tents: Luke and I have taken several adventures plus our Labor Day trip with PCBC friends
U - Uga-mugas and Noggin-noggins: just too affectionate to annoy me for too long
V - Vacations: Two new places: Savannah and Asheville
W - Weekends: finally learning how to enjoy them - work in the morning and then R & R
X - Chi: the Greek letter x which stands for Christ who is and continues to transform my life
Y - Youngblood: the unique middle name of my friend Tyler: PCBC, Radical, Turkey, Crossroads
Z - Zoos: my family loves the zoos, especially panda bears and lions

Not your Average Joe!

God has blessed me with quality friends! I first met Joe in the Fellowship class of First Baptist Dallas where my wife decided that he and I should be friends. A long shot at best, as Joe is a pretty low maintenance guy and had room for only a few select friends. Well time passed and I began to co-teach the Sunday school class, Ella was born with GBS, Joe and I began to run, and our friendship began to deepen. Joe is a servant extraordinaire and has done lots to love on our family ranging from bringing us dinner the night K went into labor with Luke to buying my son his first basketball hoop a year later.

We share the common values of sports, frugality and practicality, and our mid-western roots. Joe sold me the nicest car I've owned to date and the only car that's ever been professionally detailed - an act of kindness that didn't go unnoticed! This last weekend Joe (and his bride!) flew our entire family into Dallas so that our families could be together. That's just Joe! Cheer wine, the Rangers, McDonald's play lands, and a sweet fellowship of old friends declaring God's faithfulness over the last two years highlighted our time together. If memories are the fabric of friendship this was a good one to add to others: running in the cold around white rock, visits to the ER, pre and post-delivery meals, moving parties, Snuffers, Nobu - the first time I ever tried Sushi; why not start with the best, Fogo de Chow (loved the lamb!) a cruise of a life time, a cane (the elephant - strength and consistency two qualities Joe possesses), a handshake, a hug, a smile, a friend to connect with on Sunday mornings, a call to catch up, and many random acts of kindness and love along the way . . . Joe is a lot of things, but one thing he is not is average! Thanks Joe!